Eyes Wide Shut: Sex, Infidelity and Dreams

Kubrick's films leave viewers with many questions.

In Eyes Wide Shut (1999), the question that stuck with us the most concerns the idea of infidelity, specifically in long-term relationships and marriages.

What makes a person cheat?

Are the reasons why men and women cheat different?

What even constitutes cheating?

And how can we, if possible, prevent cheating and infidelity?

As an at-first-glance picture-perfect married couple plunge into a heated argument triggered by jealousy, Alice Harford, confesses to her husband, Bill, that she had wet dreams about a naval officer they met in a party several years back. This revelation sends Bill into a vindictive spiral, trying to get back at his wife through engaging in a series of sexual encounters, before eventually finding himself entangled in the dark affairs of an underground sexual group.

Let's break down what happened.

I- Why did Bill cheat?

Tom Cruise as Bill Harford

The answer to why Bill became obsessed with the idea of having an affair seems obvious: because he is jealous that Alice had sexual fantasies about another man. Throughout the film and his journey into the wild New York City nightlife, a voyeuristic sequence of his wife passionately making love to another man remained a motif that constantly pushes Bill into one sexual encounter after another. And despite his efforts to get even, that very same sequence still burned vividly in his mind.

This is very odd. In the very first scenes when Bill saw Alice dancing rather intimately with another man and when confronted by his wife with the question ‘Any why haven’t you ever been jealous of me?’, Bill simply replied that he is not the type to get jealous and that he has infinite trust in her.

What exactly changed there?

The catalyst here might be Alice’s passion. It is expected for romance to fizzle out in any long-term relationship, let alone a marriage. From the beginning of the film, the interaction between Bill and Alice seemed very rehearsed, as if this sequence of the couple getting dressed, leaving for an event together and kissing their daughter goodnight, had happened a million times before. Considering how long they have been married, it probably did happen a million times before. The compliments, conversations and everything that led up to the sex scene they shared was monotonous. It lacked excitement, passion and we might even say sincerity. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that Bill and Alice no longer love each other. It could just be a sign that the couple is in a period of saturation, a natural stage and progression in any prolonged relationship.

Nicole Kidman as Alice Harford

So when Alice recalled with great precision the events of the night she met the naval officer, her voice and expression trembling with raw emotion, Bill was understandably triggered.

However, there is more to this. His vexation could also be attributed to something deeper.

Bill is unable to digest the fact that as passionate as Alice was in telling her sexual fantasy, the events did not actually happen. He is struggling to differentiate between dreams and reality. To visually illustrate Bill’s battle with reality and dreams, Kubrick represented Bill's venture into the night with a dream-like tint. Take a look at the stills from the film. There is a hazy quality to the shots, suggesting that this adventure could be Bill’s dreamy projection of his thoughts and desires.

One thing we can surely notice from Bill’s ventures is that he receives a lot of flirtatious attention from people of all walking. Whether it's the daughter of a dead man he visited just to offer his condolences, the escort he met on the street who was very quick to invite Bill to her place, the mischievous daughter of the costume shop owner or the male hotel clerk, they all wanted a piece of Bill. As much as we would like to attribute all this sexual attraction to Tom Cruise’s god-sent looks, there is another way we could interpret this. The sequence here is largely intertwined with Bill’s subconscious. Regardless of whether it is or is not reality, Bill’s personal desires and outlook towards the world is integral to how the sequence is played out. He might be compensating for the lack of sexual attention from his wife through viewing everyone he came across as horny-eyed individuals, desperately wanting to be with him sexually. The fact that most of the women Bill encounters have features that resembled his wife (blonde hair and a slim body) also further illustrates how racked with jealousy and anger Bill might have felt towards Alice.

(Image credit: Screen Slate)

Another interesting point is the number of times Bill mentioned that he is a doctor. In most cases, he brings up his profession as a way to gain trust and credibility, in turn allowing him to get away with shady tasks. Apart from being a clever commentary on the gap between social classes fuelled by education and professions, it also alludes to Bill’s insecurities. He wants to be desired but also respected. Bill’s demeanour every time he pulled out his business card connotes a strong level of imperiousness and an assumption that he should be able to get away with doing most things just because he is a doctor.

This taken-for-granted mindset might explain why he was so shaken after hearing Alice lust about another man. He is used to getting everything he wants with minimal effort. As the breadwinner of the family, Bill seemed to have taken Alice’s position for granted. Although he still sees her with love and respect, his perception of her is confined to that of a trophy wife and a stay-at-home mother. Bill himself flirted with models in the first few scenes. Although we didn’t get to see whether he would actually have sex with them, the sexual tension between Bill and the girls is obvious. His disappointment, when asked to attend to the host’s personal matters, having to leave the girls in the process, is blatant. This proves that he views himself flirting and potentially taking things further with other women as not problematic.

Here, the unequal power dynamic between Alice and him strengthens.

Bill Harford flirting with the two girls at the party

Well, until Alice’s outburst.

Alice's outburst seems to have shattered Bill’s perception of her unconditional loyalty to him. Bill is thrown into a rollercoaster of a journey, attempting to restore the power he lost in the relationship.

Nicole Kidman as Alice Harford

II- Why was Alice tempted to cheat?

In the beginning, it is clear that the power dynamic in this marriage is not in Alice’s favour. Alice’s situation is actually incredibly universal. Kubrick is making a social commentary on the unequal power and role distribution between men and women. In the couple’s fight scene, Alice was noticeably triggered when Bill stated that the man at the party was attracted to or interested in her merely because she is beautiful. In Bill’s exact words, ‘Of course he would want to sleep with my beautiful wife.’ Those words were the final nails in the coffin, echoing loud and clear to Alice what she really is: a glorified sexual object, a decoration to her esteemed husband. From the exchanges between Alice and the man at the party where she tries to bring to light her past job, we can conclude that as much as she enjoys being a spectacle and eye candy to the public, she also longs to be loved and respected for her mind and personality.

Alice’s obvious distraction during her sex scene with Bill visually illustrates this. Instead of enjoying the act, she stares into the mirror. The emotions on her face are complex. She seems to be admiring how she looks, but there is also a feeling of dejection and loneliness in her eyes as she truly comes to terms with what she really is.

III- The Wake-Up Call: Bill coming back to reality

We might never know for sure if the dark affairs of the masked underground sexual group are real or just Bill’s imagination. Either way, the fact that the events that ensued acted as a wake-up call for Bill to realise the consequences of his actions is good enough. By meddling with these sexual affairs, Bill is putting his family at risk. This could be a metaphor to how his vengeful desire to get even with his wife through having a sexual encounter could be the end of their marriage, jeopardising their son’s position in the process. The harder Bill tries to look for answers to a problem that may not even exist, the further he drifts apart from his family. When Bill came home to the image of his wife sleeping next to the mask he wore to the party, he was hit with a wave of guilt. The shot symbolises how distant they have become over the years and even worse now after their little fight and his ventures. Alice is lonely and unappreciated. That is why Alice had her outburst. It could also be the answer Bill so desperately looked for.

Bill sort of messed up here. Instead of trying to understand his wife's situation, he looked for pleasure elsewhere, hoping to get satisfaction through revenge. Such a mindset never ends well. Although it finally dawned in Bill the true consequences of his vengeful sequence and he breaks down crying to Alice, admitting to everything and clearly regretting everything he did and didn’t do, it might be too late.

IV- Resolution: How do we prevent cheating?

It is difficult to decide whether what Bill did constitutes cheating because in actuality he did not have sex with any of the women he met. However, his intent was clear. And that is often enough reason for many to call it quits.

Plus, Alice is definitely upset.

We are incredibly curious about how the couple would deal with this. Kubrick builds tension by dragging the revelation out. The couple goes on a promised Christmas shopping trip with their kid. Both Bill and Alice tried to hide the tension and animosity building up between them, both putting up a happy front for their daughter. In one instance where the daughter wanders off to look at toys, they finally talk about it. We, including Bill, expected Alice to be furious, wanting and demanding a separation. Or at the very least a break. However, she did none of that.

Choosing to view the events of that night as an obstacle they had to overcome as a couple, Alice forgives Bill. Surprised and uncertain, Bill asks her if she is sure about her decision.

Alice replies with: Only as sure as I am that the reality of one night, let alone that of a whole lifetime, can ever be the whole truth.

To which Bill responds: And no dream is ever just a dream.

The conflict between Bill and Alive resolved in an unexpectedly quick pace, ending with Alice proposing that they need to have sex as soon as possible. It is unclear whether she views this as a solution to preventing either of them from having sexual fantasies or she was just plainly turned on by the adventures they had gone through.

This ending could be interpreted in many ways. Our take is that the couple did not actually fix the problems they have but just glossed over it. They did not talk about why one had the urge to go on a sex escapade or the other sexy dreams about another man under her husband's helpless voyeuristic gaze. They swept things under the rug and it is very likely that both Bill and Alice's insecurities will resurface, giving rise to the same conflicts, resulting in the same series of events.

For a couple to maintain a healthy relationship, an open discussion about insecurities, ambition and wants in life is essential. If we choose to turn a blind eye and focus solely on the good parts, it is only a matter of time until these issues creep up on us, disguised as acts of infidelity, impatience and irritation with one another. Before we know it, they will slowly consume our relationship, chipping away at whatever made the relationship feel special or worth fighting for. Soon, that will be all you remember about each other.

On that note, before it's too late, tell your partner to have a seat and talk it out.